we had everything. he was more than just a best friend. i poured my whole soul to him. and for some reason, he did too. i knew him. i understood him. we had something special there. but i guess it just wasn't enough.

i was so content with what we had. i was happy just being special to him. just being the light of his life. but after the incident this monday, i can't go back to pretending this was all i felt for him.

as of this moment, he is now fully aware of how much he means to me. and really, i love him. so much in fact that i'm willing to pretend that i'm ok. that there's nothing in this world i want more than for us to go back to the way we used to be. even if it's eating me inside. even if all i want to do is love him. be there for him.

i guess i can still do that. i used to do that. but now, i feel like i don't even have any right to do such . after all what are we? we're just special friends. and i have no alternative but to accept that it's all we'd ever be.

10:08 AM;