everything that happened the past days since my debut has been nothing short of overwhelming. i am so confused that i have to resort to making this list in order to assess what has been happening to me. so really, what's up with my life right now?

guy number 1:
my sister absolutely adores him. he's different. he's out of this world. he's so interesting that i feel so plain and boring in comparison. he's arrogant and funny. he's everything i want in my so-called "dream" guy.

guy number 2:
my MOM likes him instead. i don't really have a crush on him but then i feel like i'm stuck in this "love quadrilateral" with him, my friend who has a crush on him and my ex-crush. he's a really great friend. he's uber uber nice to me. he's so smart and has the greatest hirits other than kuya.

guy number 3:
i used to like him before but i gave up on him because i didn't feel any sparks between us. he and i have this incredible chemistry on film though. we have this amazing friendship. we're so comfortable with each other that he's slept on my shoulder so many times already.

guy number 4:
he was my first crush in our block. he's the only lily i actually remembered dancing with because he was so graceful and light on his feet. i always get this giddy feeling whenever i'm with him. he's absolutely nice and a great artist too.

so what's up with all these guys?
well, if you've been following the developments of my so-called life, i have this huge crush on guy number 1. i'm so impressed with the guy he has become because i used to like him five years ago and lost touch with him as years went by. i rediscovered him because of my debut and got lost in everything about him. how he writes profound and uber deep commentaries about life, how he spouts off incredibly intelligent remarks, how he carries himself with extreme confidence..everything about him has made me want to have a "daily experience" of him. the problem is he sees me only as his "pare". and that's the most that i am too him. during one of those days i was so wrapped-up in guy number 1, guy number 2 texted me about my summer situation. it was incredibly surprising but at the same time very touching how he was all concerned about me even if he had no reason to be. i told andrew about this and he wouldn't stop trying to convince me that i was meant to be with guy number 2. of course, being wrapped up in guy number 1, i wasn't really listening. but then, the past few days, i didn't hear from guy number 1 at all. then just 2 days ago, guy number 3 texted me about my summer situation too. then we got into the topic of missing one another. i realized that it wouldn't be easy to replace him coz i was attached to the guy.

then everything went haywire yesterday. i went to UPM and saw guy number 3. and surprise surprise. he hugged me. and the weird thing was that, it was involuntary. as though it was the most natural thing in the world. later on, i bumped into guy number 2. it was so weird because i expected he'd be there this friday. NOT yesterday. and the weirdest thing of all was that he was the person standing ahead of me in line at the ocs. how can one explain that? of course, we had such a great time talking as always. and i realized that i would miss this guy SO MUCH. although we'd still be in the same campus, it wouldn't be quite the same to NOT have daily conversations with him. my cousin was witness by the way. and i think she's rooting for guy number 2 as well.

10:33 PM, i woke up with a start at the sound of mia's voice telling me i had a new message. guess who it was? it was guy number 4 and he was asking me about my summer situation yet again. we got texting and i couldn't help but feel SO HAPPY that he'd be transferring as well. the prospect of seeing guy numbers 1-4 in upd makes me want to start having classes now. we eneded up texting for some time and i got giddy again. after some time, i thought, why not try calling guy number 1. guy number 1 and i ended up sharing a historical moment with the announcement of the new pope. and my role as his "pare" was established further.

at this point, i don't know what to do or who to like. it's as if every one of the guys i'd miss terribly would be transferring to upd making everything even more complicated than i ever thought possible. i can't wait to walk along the sunken garden with each of those guys.

but back to my boredom situation. i still need a fling. who should i go for? :)

4:13 AM;