this is my 70th day blog entry. (was supposed to post this yesterday)



it's weird how differently you feel from merely imagining something and going through the real thing. all day, i was waiting to catch a mere glimpse of him. i waited and waited. i stared at their door hoping he would suddenly materialize from out of nowhere and greet me. i thought my day would end without seeing him at all. then when i finally gave up on the idea that i might bump into him, i see his friends at the same place i was. i look around a bit further and see him there. i suddenly lost my appetite. i couldn't breathe. i felt like throwing up. i don't know why he affects me this way. maybe i am getting in over my head.



all i know is that, i have NEVER felt this way before. and i have NEVER deliberately hurt myself just to see someone happy. i guess he's really different. or maybe what i feel for him is. i don't know. i CAN'T explain nor comprehend everything that's happening.



I JUST KNOW I WANT TO KEEP FEELING THIS WAY NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS.

11:01 AM;