"I love you" doesn't really mean that I want you to be mine. In fact, it's another way of saying, "I'm happy to see you happy with someone else even if it's killing me." So I guess I love you.
The perfect quote for my situation right now. I want him to be happy. So instead of telling him to move on and hint that there would be other people (like ME) who would be willing to love him, I sent him this message..
Hey..I read ur blog. Wla lng, i hope u're alryt. Neway, u myt not want to take advice frm me bt then, i thnk u and ur ex shud juz get bck togethr. I mean logically, since both of u are hurting and don't/can't seem to want to move on..Go for it. :) wel, that's my opinion anyway. God bles sayo. :) i hope u kn0w i'm here for u and that i care. Sana magng truly happy ka na. :)
At this point, I felt tears coming to my eyes. I mean, just imagining them together is slowly killing me.
Witnessing them as a happy couple would probably be
the death of me. But then again, I would be extremely happy for him. Happy for him yet
devastated for myself.
He then replied..
Pero, I broke up bcoz i thot we're btter off as frnds nga, and we rili are. Pro nt now cguro. Ders no pt in turnin bak..Hafta move on. Thnks anyway..:)
After getting this message, I felt somewhat outraged. He can't give up on his ex now. Not when I'm
deliberately hurting myself to help him in his pursuit of happiness.
Not giving up, I replied..
Pare, there's a point if both of u stil love each othr..And wel, 'better off as frnds' doesn't rily work. 2nd chances do work out nman. Oh wel..If that's how u feel, ang epal ko nman na mamilit. I juz hope u give d relati0nship a chance b4 u finally let go. Wla lng..Sori for interfering.
At this point, I am quite certain that I DO 'LOVE' him. Although I want him for myself, I will not hope to deny him of the person who would really make him happy. I hope he finds that happiness with his ex. I just hope, selfish as it might be, that he will know my true feelings for him.
Un lang. Haaay..Ganito pala pag 'mahal' mo na talaga..
It's okay if you can't love me nor even think of me. I'm not asking you to. It's really okay for me if you can't, cause you see? What I told you was "I love you" NOT "please love me too".
*supposedly a November 5 entry*
