I remember way back in Grade 7. My memories of the south were of my cousins and I running around Festival mall, trying to join in on the "Spend a day with Parokya ni Edgar" contest. A few months later, it would be of my cousins and I going nuts over Teeth and watching their basketball game against PNE. In first year, it was of my ex-best friend and I watching a gig at Galo's now named something 119 as I found out just yesterday. Fast forward two years later and my memories were of my Ocho-Uno classmates and I getting excused from attending class, eating cheese pimiento sandwiches, cramming for our chemistry test the following day and trying to support Katz in the Digital LG contest. And who could ever forget the "guy with the brown bag" asking for the name of the "girl with the red ID lace"? My most recent memories of the south however, tarnished my perception of that faraway place worth traveling two hours for. It was that "date" or "meeting" or what-have-you with Chad that ruined the memories and ambiance of that place for me.

It was weird I managed to go there yesterday. First and foremost, it was absolutely NOT a mom-supported gimmick. Second of all, it was just Pola and I. Not even one-fourth of the Tianx were with us. And third, honestly, I have NEVER tried commuting THAT far. Miraculously though, I am still able to blog about our experience without any losses, injuries or whatever else except for a bruise on my left thigh.

So what did happen? The strangest thing happened, actually. I mean, who would've guessed that we'd bump into those people in ATC on a TUESDAY, no less. I mean, we're all from Quezon City. What are the odds that we'll see them there? Maybe he really loves Pola that much that he's developed ESP regarding her whereabouts. Oh well...

As for the whole point of our adventure...it turned out well. Better than I expected. At this point, I should be ecstatic. Or at least be happy. I don't understand why I'm not. Maybe my defense mechanisms are acting up. It's frustrating how I am hindered from freely feeling what I really want to feel for the sake of protecting myself. I need to let go and just enjoy the moment. After all, I was the one who did say that pain is inevitable. I shouldn't stop myself from feeling. To be numb would mean I would never get hurt but then I would never feel exuberance as well. I have to let go. I just have to.

Quotable Quotes:

"A hurting heart is a loving heart. Don't hold back on love just because you've been hurt before. What matters is that you have loved." -Andrew

"There is no such thing as an impossible love. Be not intimidated by silence, indifference or rejection. Take more risks. Seek love even if you will often hear the word 'no', be defeated and feel rejected." - The Warrior of the Light



Siguro nga...mahal na YATA kita.



This supposedly was my blog entry earlier. Then something happened.

My beloved tutor started texting me about him. Then I received this message: "Narinig k lng s clsm8 k n may guy cyang ksama n nglalakad s malate. Tpos may hawak cyang blue magic. Thats it."

Then I started crying. He could've left it at that. But my beloved tutor is really the best. We talked for more or less 20 minutes on the cell phone so he could console me, make me understand and spare my feelings. Ibang klase talaga. Now I'm even more confused than I was minutes ago. At lalo akong nalungkot.

6:46 AM;